No. 1-2004 JANUARY
The Monthly Newsletter of:
Voice/Fax: (619) 448-1888
Pr. Molly Knutson-Keller
SDSU Lutheran Campus Pastor
Principal, Day School
Prayer Chain, 334-6457
Julie & Terry Borchard
A MESSAGE FROM PASTOR
Christmas is over. The angels have gone, and we know it. The lights are out, the tree down, the packages opened, the cookies eaten. It’s back to life as usual, with winter and the January! February blues stretching before us. No angels. No excitement. Some of us face sickness and suffering, and some stand face-to-face with death. Others face the long winter months feeling very lonely. Now, it is back to the job, or back to school. Getting up early, and working hard, and being tired, and wondering where the energy will come from to get through the day and the week.
We enter a new year with four responses. All will help to build our spiritual homes into the spiritual dwelling that God had in mind when we were created.
First: Do the hard work of building. When the winds blow, following
Second: Be far-sighted. Do not trade a long- term blessing for a short-term pleasure.
Third: Listen—to hear the Lord’s voice. We cannot hear if we are not listening.
Fourth: Act on the things that God has called us to do. Don’t know what God wants you to do? Not feeling equipped? I am convinced that God doesn’t call the unequipped; I am convinced that God doesn’t call the equipped. God equips the called. God is calling you today. He is looking for willing hearts and lives.
is over, but
Interim Pastors to Serve CHLC
congregational council has approved the Bishop’s recommendation that
Pastor Frank will serve the congregation in all other capacities such as leading worship (except for every 6th Sunday when Pr Rick preaches), devote 20 hours a week to pastoral concerns, perform pastoral acts, teach adult education, visit members and prospective members, work with council and transition team and committees, account to the Bishop on the progress of Interim Pastoral ministry and carry out other congregational needs as 3/4 time ministry allows.
are seven specific goals of our Intentional Interim Ministry, which are part of
1. To maintain the viability of the congregation
help resolve feelings of grief over the death of
3. To reinforce the ministry of the laity
4. To deal with special needs of our congregation
5. To emphasize fellowship and reconciliation with one another
6. To strengthen our ties with Synod and the Church-at-large
7. To increase the potential for a fruitful ministry under the next regularly-called pastor
Together with his wife
The 3/4 time ministry at CHLC will include working at home Mondays, being at CHLC Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays 10am-7pm, and Sunday mornings, off Friday and Saturday. That schedule will be adjusted to accommodate parish schedules.
employment is meant to take place beginning
· Office hours every Monday from -
· Wednesday evening program to include a church-wide dinner from , a children’s program from and Confirmation from
· First Communion Instruction
· Preaching every 6th Sunday
· Youth group (Hi-Youth) participation and support
· Retreats, Trips and Camps for children and youth
call for pastoral care especially when
· Pastoral leadership for the school especially with chapel participation
The new program being offered will be the Wednesday
evening program and more information about this program will soon be made
available. This program is a part of
The following is a brief outline of
Grew up in
Served 3 previous congregations as a youth and
family pastor: Zion Lutheran in
Currently is the solo pastor at
Served the Grand Canyon Synod as Director of Youth Ministry Leadership, is currently the director of the Southwest Youth Ministry Certification Network (SYMCN) and has been on the board of Lutheran Youth Encounter
Active with the Cursillo retreat everywhere he has served and the youth versions of this retreat know by different names in different parts of the country
Authored a book edited by
The Grief Journey
Someone you love has died. You are beginning a journey that is often frightening, painful, and lonely. No words, written or spoken, can take away the pain you feel. Perhaps someone has already said, “In time, you’ll feel better.” Actually, time alone has nothing to do with healing. To heal, you must be willing to learn about and understand the grief process.
As scary as this may sound, you will never “get over” your grief. Instead you will learn to live with it. This does not mean you will never be happy again. If you allow yourself the time and compassion to mourn, if you truly work through your grief, you will heal.
WHAT YOU MAY FEEL
Because grief is different for every person it is hard to predict what you will feel in the weeks and months ahead. While your grief is unique, it might help you to understand some of the most common emotions associated with grief.
¨ Shock – dazed, stunned. This is nature’s way of protecting you from an overwhelming reality. Stomach pains, heart palpitations, crying hysterically, screaming angrily or even laughing. These behaviors help you survive during this extra ordinarily difficult time.
¨ Confusion – even ongoing. Thoughts may be disconnected, your mind may race, you may sense the dead person’s presence or have fleeting glimpses of the person across the room. This is very common and very normal – they are “memory pictures.”
¨ Anxiety. As your head and heart begin to miss the person who died, you may naturally feel anxious. You may doubt your ability to survive, feel anxious about everyday realities such as work or finances. You may panic.
¨ Anger and its cousins hate, blame, resentment, rage, and jealousy are normal responses. With loss comes the desire to protest. Explosive emotions provide the vehicle to do so. We have two avenues of expressing these emotions: outward or inward. The outward avenue leads to healing: the inward does not. Critical to your healing is finding someone who does not judge you but allows you to feel whatever you feel.
¨ Guilt. We naturally consider the “If-onlys.” Remember thinking is logical, feeling is not.
¨ Sadness. Your full sense of loss will never occur all at once. Weeks or often months pass before you are confronted with the depths of your sadness. This slow progression is good. You could not or should not tolerate all your sadness at once. Your body, mind, and spirit need time working together to allow you to embrace the depth of your loss. Be patient with yourself.
MYTHS ABOUT GRIEF
Myth #1 Grief and mourning are the same. Grief is the composite of thoughts and feelings about a loss you experienced within yourself. Mourning is the external expression of that grief. Crying, talking about the person who died, celebrating special events are examples of mourning. Healing begins when we mourn publicly in the presence of understanding and caring persons who will not judge you.
Myth #2 There are predictable stages to grief. While grief often manifests itself in similar ways, and at times there is a logical progression of emotion, grief is not predictable.
Myth #3 We should avoid the painful parts of grieving. Our society often encourages prematurely moving away from grief instead of towards it. The result is too many bereaved people either grieve in isolation or even move away from their grief. When you avoid the pain of grief, you avoid healing. Instead, you must learn to slowly embrace the full force of this pain so someday you can again embrace happiness.
Myth #4 We should “get over” our grief as soon as possible. Rather than using the term resolution or recovery, I prefer reconciliation. This does not mean getting over your grief, it means growing through it. With reconciliation - which may take weeks or years – you feel a renewed sense of energy and confidence, an ability to fully acknowledge the reality of the death and become reinvalued with the activities of living.
THE RECONCILIATION NEEDS OF MOURNING
Need 1. Acknowledge the reality of the death.
Need 2. Move toward the pain of the loss. Expressing your thoughts and feelings about the death with all their intensity is a difficult but important need. Dose yourself little by little. You should not try to meet this need all at once.
Need 3. Continue the relationship with the person who died through memory. Embracing your memories – both happy and sad – it can be a very slow and at times, painful process that occurs in small steps. Remembering the past makes hoping for the future possible.
Need 4. Develop a new self-identity. Part of your self-identity comes from the relationships you have created with other people. When someone with whom you have a relationship dies, your self-identity naturally changes.
Need 5. Search for meaning. We question the meaning and purpose of life especially at the death of a loved once. Move at your own pace.
Need 6. Continue to receive support from others. You will never stop needing the love and support of others because you never “get over” your grief. As you learn to reconcile your grief, you will need help less intensely and less often.
may be the hardest work you have ever done.
And hard work is less burdensome when others lend a hand. Enclosed is a copy of the mourner’s Bill of
Rights. You may wish to share these
pages with others. Remember there is
also Pastoral help available, and avail yourself of a new adult class beginning
January 11th at
will use the Book of Ruth to discover some Biblical perspective about grief and
mourning as we trace
New Children’s and Family Ministry
How can we get our children excited about coming to church? How can we equip our families to be places of Christian education and spiritual nourishment? How can our church come together to enjoy each other’s company and build quality relationships?
Try coming to a mid-week family program that will include something for the whole family and encourages singles to meet others.
Beginning Wednesday, January 21st we will provide the following for 10 weeks each Wednesday evening.
Dinner for everyone…children and adults…families and singles
Children’s Program called God’s Gifts
encourage all church organizations to try meeting for these ten weeks on this
night. Let’s make
What will the Children’s program be like? God’s Gifts is a weekly lesson that is designed to be a take-home lesson that a parent or and adult friend or an older sibling can teach children K-6th grade. When the lessons are returned the next week the children earn points for: answered questions, memorized Bible verses, a parent or adult friend signature, going to Sunday School or bringing a friend. The points serve three purposes.
The points can be used in a “store” to purchase prizes and candy. They can be contributed to a “World Hunger Jar” where the points worth 3 cents each will help the children of the world. And all points earned and spent can be accumulated to have the child attend a trip at the end of the 10 week session.
Sound like fun? It is!!
We do need help. The confirmands are already volunteering to help but lots of help is needed. The following help will be needed: Provide a dinner, Provide prizes or candy for the God’s Gifts store, be a “listener” who listens to the children recite their Bible verses and records their points, provide a nursery for preschoolers during God’s Gifts, help run the God’s Gifts store, help the confirmands put on a puppet show to tell the lesson for the day, and maybe more categories of help will be needed.
like to consider helping? Please come to
a meeting on Wednesday, January 7th at for a volunteer
training. If you would
like to help but cannot make the meeting please call
A registration form for God’s Gifts will be included in the Sunday bulletin for the Sundays in January. Please consider your participation prayerfully.
Tuesday Fellowship will be sponsoring a spaghetti potluck, on Sunday the 18th
at in the
DORCAS TEA PARTY
The Christmas Tea was held at Cobblestone Cottage Tea Shoppe in Alpine on Thursday, December 11th. After dressing up in feather boas, large floppy hats, gloves, etc.(even our elf), we were served a scrumptious afternoon tea that consisted of scones, tea sandwiches, fruit, quiche and desserts. There was a very large assortment of teas to choose from. This should definitely become an annual event!
Spotlight on Hymns
We three kings
of Orient are, Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Field and fountain, moor and mountain
Following yonder star.
The Christmas carol "We Three
Kings" tells the story of the Wise Men from the East who brought gifts to
According to tradition dating back to
medieval times, their names were Balthasar,
An 8th century saint,
The Bible, however, does not describe the
kings or reveal their names. In fact, it does not call them kings at all, but
simply Magi, or Wise Men. The Magi were a Median (Kurdish) priestly caste who
rose to power in ancient
The Magi of the Nativity were probably important men in their own country and may well have been of noble or royal birth, but there is no evidence to back this up. The idea that they were kings arose in the Middle Ages and was based on earlier Biblical prophecies about kings bearing gifts.
can't even say for sure how many Magi visited
Tradition has it that in later years the
Wise Men were baptized by
Their purported remains were brought to
The carol "We Three Kings" was
written in 1857 by an American minister,
Lovers of carols and Christmas parties know that this season has 12 days, packed with golden rings, calling birds and various kinds of gentry, musicians and domestic workers. December 25 is Christmas - and 25 minus 12 does equal 13. Do the math and you will see why shopping malls, newspapers, television networks, and other cultural fortresses annually deliver some kind of "Twelve Days of Christmas" blitz, beginning on December 13.
Problem is that for centuries church calendars in the East and the West have agreed that there are twelve days of Christmas and they begin on Christmas Day and end on January 6.
The twelve days of Christmas end with the Feast of Epiphany also called "The Adoration of the Magi" or "The Manifestation of God." Celebrated on January 6, it is known as the day of the Three Kings (or wise men/magi). .
January 6, the last day of Christmas, comes with its own traditions, rituals and symbols in some countries. Carolers are going from house to house; in many homes the Christmas tree is taken down and in some areas is burnt in a big bonfire. For the children this is an especially joyous occasion because, associated with taking down the tree goes the "plündern" (raiding) of the tree. The sweets, chocolate ornaments wrapped in foil or cookies, which have replaced the sugarplums, are the raiders' rewards.
The history of Christmas, (the festival of
the nativity of
In the fourth century, December 25 was
finally adopted by the Western Christian Church as the date of the Feast of
Christ's birth. It is believed that this change in date gave rise to the
tradition of the "12 Days of Christmas." While the Western Christian
Church celebrates December 25th, the Eastern Christian Church to this day
recognizes January 6 as the celebration of the nativity. January 6 was also
kept as the physical birthday in
God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.
Dear God, I have a problem -- it's me.
Growing old is inevitable, growing UP is optional.
There is no key to happiness. The door is always open.
Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.
Do the math ... count your blessings.
Faith is the ability to not panic.
Laugh every day, it's like inner jogging.
If you worry, you didn't pray. If you pray, don't worry.
As a child of God, prayer is kind of like calling home every day.
Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape.
The most important things in your home are the people.
When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so He can untangle the knot.
A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.
He who dies with the most toys is still dead.
We do not remember days, but moments.
Life is moving too fast, so enjoy your precious moments.
Nothing is real to you until you experience it, otherwise it's just hearsay.
It's all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just remember to flush it occasionally!
to the passing of our beloved
The annual Christmas Bazaar was a great success with many members of the congregation not only purchasing items, but also donating many items.
We thank all those who helped.
were elected at our November meeting. They are
Installation will be held at a worship service in January.
Our mission for next year is to assist the Santee Food Bank to collect non-perishable foods and cash to purchase meat, dairy products, etc. You will see inserts in the bulletins in the coming months, and someone from the Food Bank will be addressing the congregation at a worship service soon.
invite all ladies to join us. Our next meeting is
Council Highlights from
After devotions, where all members shared what they
considered their most important blessings,
The council feels we are blessed to have these two wonderful ministers to assist us in the every day affairs of our church.
We will be approaching members to serve on a Transition
Team to begin the healing process we must all go through. This team will
be introduced at our Budget and Election Meeting that was postponed until
Our annual congregational meeting will be held in February, with the definite date to be announced.
Offering envelopes are in for 2004. We still need to have Consecration Sunday and the Ministry Fair, which were also postponed. Please pray carefully about your pledges for the coming year.
Council will have a meeting following church service on January 11th, and then our regular meeting on January 21st.
+++REMEMBER IN PRAYER those who are affected by anxiety, depression, guilt, grief, loneliness, poverty, illness and in need of God’s healing and loving touch:
Members: Crystal & Rod Boisvert, Arlean Lane, Laura Kramer, Norie Feltner, Ralph Beyer, Joseph & Gertrude Geiler, Gunda Richardson, Grace Otto, Judy Johnston, Ed & Marge Whitehead, Elsie Erion, Linda Tomsick, Cole & Marie Freeman, Betty Keehn, Charlotte Kimbrough, Marty Freer, Arnold Flurry, Jan, Erin, Andrew Neuhaus & family.
NOTE: We currently have two prayer chains that can
be easily activated by calling
v SR. FELLOWSHIP meets
at the Olive Garden Restaurant in
Texts for the Sundays in January:
Jan 4th/ 2nd Sunday in Christmas
31:7-14, Eph 1:3-14,
Jan 11th/ Baptism of Our Lord
Isa 60:1-6, Eph 3:1-12, Matt 2:1-12
Jan 18st/ Confession of
Acts 4:8-13, 1 Cor 10:1-5,
Jan 25th/ 3rd Sunday after the Epiphany
8:1-3,5-6, 8-10, 1 Cor -31a,
We can use
help in knowing who is in need of a thinking of you card. If you know of
someone ill, having surgery or ??? please
29/ Mavis &
30/ Jerold &
14/ Rod Boisvert
16/ Herb Ryden
11/ 18/ 25/ TBA
The Mourner’s Bill of Rights
As a bereaved person, you have certain rights that others must not take away from you. In fact, it is the very upholding of these rights that makes healing possible.
1. You have the right to experience your own unique grief.
No one else will grieve in exactly the same way you do. Don’t allow others to tell you what you should or should not be feeling.
2. You have the right to talk about your grief.
Talking about your grief will help you heal. Seek out others who will allow you to talk as much as you want, as often as you want, about your grief.
3. You have the right to feel a multitude of emotions.
Confusion, disorientation, fear, guilt, and relief are just a few of the emotions you might feel as part of your grief journey. Know that there is no such thing as a “wrong” emotion. Accept all your feelings and find listeners who will do the same.
4. You have the right to be tolerant of your physical and emotional limits.
Your feelings of loss and sadness will probably leave you feeling fatigued. Respect what your body and mind are telling you. Get daily rest. Eat balanced meals. And don’t allow others to push you into doing things you don’t feel ready to do.
5. You have the right to experience grief “attacks.”
Sometimes, out of nowhere, a powerful surge of grief may overcome you. This can be frightening, but is normal and natural. Find someone who understands and will let you talk it out.
6. You have the right to make use of ritual.
The funeral ritual provides you with the support of caring people. More important, it supportively sees you off on your painful but necessary grief journey. Later rituals, such as lighting a candle for the person who died, can also be healing touchstones. If others tell you that rituals such as these are silly of unnecessary, don’t listen.
7. You have the right to embrace your spirituality.
If faith is a part of your life, express it in ways that seem appropriate to you. Allow yourself to be around people who understand and support your religious beliefs. If you feel angry at God, find someone to talk with who won’t be critical of your feelings of hurt and abandonment.
8. You have the right to search for meaning.
You may find yourself asking, “Why did he or she die? Why this way? Why now?” Some of your questions may have answers but some may not. And watch out for the clichéd responses some people may give you. Comments like, “It was God’s will” of “think of what you have to be thankful for” are not helpful and you do not have to accept them.
9. You have the right to treasure your memories.
Memories are one of the best legacies that exist after the death of someone loved. You will always remember. Instead of ignoring your memories, find creative ways to embrace them.
10.You have the right to move toward your grief and heal.
Reconciling your grief will not happen quickly. Remember, grief is a process, not an event. Be patient and tolerant with yourself and avoid people who are impatient and intolerant with you. Neither you nor those around you must forget that the death of someone loved changes your life forever.